About Us

According to our ACE scores, we should probably be dead by now. The Adverse Childhood Experiences test counts the number of certain adversities faced in childhood (physical abuse, a parent’s incarceration, etc) to predict the likelihood of developing heart disease, cancer, STDs, addiction, suicidal ideation, and other frightening ways to meet your demise. Our childhood had all the basic ingredients, plus some extra spice, to cook up disastrous outcomes: alcoholism, domestic violence, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, isolation, and CPS intervention.

But here we are, not only not dead, but positively alive and doing pretty dang well! Healthy, happy, and hopeful as heck. Over time we realized that our ACE score may have been the beginning of our story, but it was up to us to write the ending. We thought by sharing our experience, maybe other people could change their outcomes, too.

From that desire to serve (and copious amounts of coffee), the Brother Sister Blog was born. We talk about the things we love – like climbing mountains, traveling, reading, drinking all the coffee – but also about what it’s like to learn that your brain is wired funky and how we experienced life outside the trailer for the first time. We share about the many aspects of our lives that weave together to make this colorful, if slightly tattered, tapestry. We hope you enjoy it!

Who we are: Tony is a charismatic introvert. He’s everybody’s favorite and the one you call for help. He’s the older brother, but as a result of the last few years of healthy and inspired living, is often asked if he’s the younger one. Monica is an idealist through and through, which can be equally annoying and inspiring. She’s mostly working on looking like the younger sister again.

Welcome to our site!


53 thoughts on “About Us

  1. You’ve inspired me to start therapy, realizing that I can’t do this alone. I read your posts with a sense of familiarity and sadness, but I’m glad you had/have each other. Hugs to both of you!

  2. Both of you are an inspiration and bring so much happiness and hope to so many people. I am proud to call you brother and sister! I love this blog! And love you both!

  3. I’m so sharing with my siblings and look forward to your insights to gain a little more patience and compassion when they are broken by things 20 years ago or struggle to get to a healthy space! My realistic hop to it approach can use some Tony and Monica touches ❤️

  4. love, love, love this monica! keep at this, and one day you will be running for pres, and i just want to be on your team. 💕

  5. I love that you are doing something active to get people engaged in the healing process. I am 68 and just found out about ACES. (ACE 6, red 4), both my brothers are deceased. One passed from heart disease and the other from long term lymphoma and heart. I cheer you on, get the word out to those who don’t know, and those who can no longer speak. Healing can happen no mater where you are on the spectrum.

    • Thank you for your encouragement, Kathryn! We take your words to heart. It is so important to speak up and speak out for those who didn’t get the chance. And we never want to take for granted that we have the opportunity to heal, grow, and connect with people like you to start turning the tide on trauma. We are cheering you on as well, sister!

  6. Glad to find your bro-sister blog! I scored 4. ACE-in-arms. But like you, I’ve been on a journey of (physical and emotional) healing, so it’s a blessing to find you. Looking forward to following your thriving lives 😉

  7. love this. as a therapist with trauma history i love that non-therapists are sharing info. from a personal and research base and know this blog will help many. xxxxooo

  8. I love reading your blogs. It has inspired me to start my own. I was hoping it would help writing down my feelings and my thoughts but so far it has not. I will take your advice and try to make time for a little self love. Would love any advice you could give for someone whose brain is going 100 miles per hour everyday.

    • Hi Melyssa! We’re just seeing your comment so excuse the delay in responding to you. It’s exciting to hear that you’re starting you own blog and we hope you’ll share it with us! My brain used to go at full speed all the time, too, and the things that helped me most were exercise, cutting down on caffeine, and learning how to deep breathe through yoga/meditation. It still spins of course, but much less often and I can usually notice it and calm down a lot sooner. It also helps a ton to write without censoring yourself – just let it flow – good, bad, and ugly. Sometimes you’ll be surprised what comes out! Best of luck to you. – the sister

  9. I just want to tell you that your blog will be invaluable to so many people who need to know that no matter what their adverse experiences as a child, that is just where you have been, it does not mean that your life cannot be a beacon of light for others to follow in the future.

  10. I enjoy reading about y’all’s perspective and experiences. I wish you posted more often! How are you two doing with all this covid madness? Any tips on how to survive a pandemic while dealing with other life stressors?

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